George Bernard Shaw once said, "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." I believe there some truth to that statement, but as much time that we've spent
finding for ourselves, we
create ourselves likewise. Through life experiences, people are given the opportunity to discover how they are hardwired individually, but at that same moment, that same opportunity gives them to ability to decide if they want to try and re-wire themselves at the cost of time, energy, and other resources..
Going back to the blog world, I feel it is appropriate to conjure up a list of resolutions to help re-create myself as I shift into a new "life stage".
Since moving back home in June to finish with community college courses in graphic design, this long stretch of time between then and now was surreal on many occasions. There are times when I felt so misplaced and out of this world. I suppose this disposition helped provide myself a good self-reflection and thus helped provided me this list of resolutions; resolutions that I will hopefully keep throughout its entirety.
First off, it has been evident to me that my faith and growth is in a plateau with a giant wall. I know there is nothing about being still in the Lord; I am all for being content in and with Him. But what really irritates me is the disconnect between my head to my heart, like a giant wall preventing my heart to get the message. In essence, I feel drone-like. There is no "stirring the heart", no passion in my faith. That is the first item on the list that I want to cross off upon its completion; to establish a connection between my head and heart in my walk with Christ.
Second item would be confidence; confidence in my own talent and skills. I know in the past I have doubted my abilities and questioned my developing skill sets. Thus, these reservations limits my potential, while at the same time, slowly deplores my own faith in myself. I resolve to instill into myself more confidence through constant practice of my own crafts and artistries. Besides mere practice, I need to push myself in areas of discomfort and challenges, testing not only my confidence, but my growth as well.
And lastly, diligence is what I want more of in my work ethic and practice. I feel there are a lot of times that I have ideas flowing in my mind, but very few that are executed. When these ideas do get executed, they are rarely ever finished. That is something that I feel has got to change. I want and need to stay persistent despite what and how I feel about the result. This is not limited to my artwork, but to my everyday life. Even if my passion or flame has started to fade, there needs to be some kind of resilience and persistence. I suppose one way to start is to write down my ideas in my sketch book, comprise an outline on how I would execute it. It's a small step, but an entryway to develop into a finished product.
I realize that all these things are in some ways related to each other and seems to be extremely hard to obtain, in some cases. I figured that I would have to really discipline myself and strive to achieve these three because I believe they will eventually trickle down and affect even though small things in my life. I think these are the most beneficial in hopes to "recreating" myself.
These are just some ramblings in my mind that I feel I should post up and hold myself accountable for. Here's to making myself into a better me.
